This is my boy.  He loves pirates.  Before my daughter became a grown-up Kindergartner it wasn’t uncommon to find me at the supermarket with Jack Sparrow in one hand and Sleeping Beauty in the other.  Already, she wouldn’t be caught dead in such “baby dress up stuff” – at least not in public where anyone can see her that is.  My son on the other hand rarely goes out of the house without the pirate hat and sword in tow. 

This week he drew me a treasure map at the gym daycare.  On the drive home, he became the captain of our Nissan SUV and commanded the lowly coxswain (Mom) to steer as the treasure map dictated.  Once we were on the interstate and I slowed down to take our exit, the captain began shouting.  “Argh!  The treasure map does not lead to our house!  The treasure is at the beach!”

I like this captain.

Lately, I feel like my personal pirate ship is just drifting in open water.  Sure, there is a destination out there; I’m just on hold getting to it.  Being on hold isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  It is actually helping me to navigate my course with clarity.  Too often, in the past, I have been guilty of letting my feelings call the shots only to arrive somewhere I didn’t want to be. 

Not this time.  I know where I want to be.  Everyday I’m more and more certain of it. 

Sailing toward the destination not only requires determination and hard work, but it requires sacrifice.  I want to do a lot of things in this life like get a glowing degree in literature, coach an Olympic swim team, and write a bestselling novel or ten.  While hopefully I will be able to accomplish some of those dreams, they aren’t what is going to matter to me when I stand on the shore of what is this life looking into the unknown of the next.  What I want to see looking back is a kind of success that isn’t measured in medals or by the New York Times. 

During this quiet season of my life, I’m learning to cut myself some slack.  I may not be holed up in a classroom working on that degree, but I did teach my son how to throw a baseball today.  I still haven’t started competing with the Master’s team, but I did help my daughter pass her swim test this weekend.  I haven’t completed writing a novel in almost nine months, but I did teach my kindergartner how to read. 

As far as I’m concerned, I’m still on course to my destination.  Apparently next, we’re headed to the beach to look for buried treasure.