Through the photos I was able to document my journey as a Crazy Mom.  It began here, on the day I was wheelbarrowed into the hospital to deliver my daughter.  I told you I ate a lot of ice cream.

And then my screeching, tiny, blob of yucky happiness was welcomed into the world…

Just as though I didn’t learn my lesson of how much childbirth SUCKED the first time, I started hitting the ice cream churn again…

And welcomed another blob of yucky happiness…

Those blobs have since gotten bigger and more complicated.  Rather than screeching, they are opinionated and whiney.   While I don’t plan on falling off the Ben & Jerry’s wagon again anytime soon… that damn scrapbook certainly made me think about grabbing a spoon.

When you spend days on end together you have to find things to do so you don’t strangle each other to fill your time.  After all, the family that plays together – stays sane together.

Movie Night
About once a week we have a movie and popcorn night.  Since we’ve had so much snow recently, we’ve had a LOT of movie nights and I regret not buying stock in Redbox.  The catch to this one is you might have to suffer through Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses in order to have quality time with your kids.  I think of it this way, regardless of the movie, it is generally an hour and a half that I don’t have to hear my name over and over and over again.  Where we live, we have a dollar theater close by and on Tuesdays they also have popcorn and drinks for a dollar. I think we may go there today.  Some movies that didn’t make me want to gouge my own eyes out this year were: Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, Planet 51, Aliens in the Attic, Up, Monsters Vs. Aliens, and Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs.

Lessons in Good Sportsmanship
My kids love to play games and it’s my opportunity to give them a healthy dose of good sportsmanship because you have to earn your winnings in this house.  My daughter loves to play cards and as a result has learned how to add, subtract, figure odds, and count cards.  I’m tempted to take her to Vegas with me.  Just kidding.  Seriously, she does love to play Hearts and Rummy and regularly beats us all.  My son likes the staples of Go Fish and Old Maid – but he’s still terrible at both.  Some of our other favorites are Hungry Hungry Hippos, Disney’s Scene It, Hang-Man, and last, but not certainly not least – the Wii.  If the Wii is out of your price range and you have younger kids, the V-Motion game by V-Tech is a great option.  Both of my kids love to play it and the games are interchangeable with their hand held V-Smiles.

Culinary Experimentation
Everyone usually has a hand in dinner at our house – literally, so eat at your own risk.  I’ve discovered that if the kids help with the preparation, getting them to eat is usually less of a fight to the death.  Pizzas are a favorite around here and relative cheap to make at home. I buy the Pillsbury refrigerated dough, cut it into individual sizes and then let them run wild, piling them with toppings.  Other group cooking activities include cookie and cupcake decorating, muffins, any type of casserole.  The messier it is, the more they love it.

The Family Workout
Usually once a day you will find our little troupe involved in some sort of indoor calisthenics.  From running around the living room, to doing pushups off the coffee table there is a lot of physical exercise that goes on our house.  Ever seen a four year old practice yoga?  Come by after dinner on Tuesdays and Thursdays and my son will show you a half moon pose – or maybe a full moon pose depending on if it’s post or pre bath time.  If he’s not working out with me, then he is sitting on my stomach while I do Pilate’s 100’s asking, “Mommy, how does your tummy feel?  Does it hurt yet?”

Bedtime with Mommy
My favorite part of the day is bedtime.  As much as I enjoy the quiet that ensues, I love spending time with my children before they fall asleep.  I’m not a co-dependent mom who has to smother her kids at bedtime, but we do read books and occasionally still rock and sing in the rocking chair.  My daughter is learning to read, so story time takes a lot longer, but I don’t mind so much.  I listen to their prayers, say prayers over them and tuck them into bed. When it’s time for me to turn out the light, each child has a routine.  My daughter gives me three kisses, says “I love you.  Goodnight. Have a great sleep,” exactly three times and then I tell her “No more talking.”  My son gives me one hug and a kiss and says, “Good night.  I love you.  When you gonna go to bed?”  I say, “Not for a long time. Don’t get out of bed.”  Maybe they’re weird.  I dunno.  If they are, they get it honestly.

Thankfully, we received a mild diagnosis of vision problems and my little boy was fitted with the cutest pair of glasses you’ve ever seen on a kid.  My friend’s nephew hasn’t been so lucky.  After a year of battling the disease, exhausting the family’s finances and enjoying a year in remission, at the age of six his cancer has returned.  The prognosis isn’t good.  The doctors are saying that the next course of action will be to remove the eye, it’s surrounding tissue and bone.  Even with those extremes, the odds are against them. 

I’ve never met this little boy and still, I cried today.

Over the past couple of years, I have learned the hard way how very FRAGILE this life is.  In the blink of an eye, our flimsy realities can shatter leaving us with only remnants of what used to be our lives.  The things that used to be important become irrelevant.  Dreams that once were sought after are abandoned.  Everything changes… the way you think, the way you live and certainly, the way you love.  While I never anticipated that I would grow up to be a crazy mom, I am so thankful that I did.  My little family is my whole world and they bring me more joy than all of the freedoms combined that a single life could ever offer me.  Even though my world is nothing short of pure chaos most of the time, it is EXACTLY where I want to be.

Tonight, before my head touches my pillow, I will sneak into my kids’ rooms and watch my babies sleep.  I will lean over their beds, kiss their cheeks and whisper in the dark how much I love them, how thankful I am to be their mom, and I will pray for their health and protection. 

Be thankful.

Back before I became a crazy mom, I didn’t quite mix in with my family.  In fact, I was like a drop of heathen oil in a vat full of Southern Baptist vinegar.  I can clearly remember looking at my parents and shouting at them, “I am going to choose the most difficult road in life possible and I’m going to make it just to prove to you that I can!”  Wow.  I imagine that they half expected me to sprout a second head at any moment.  My mother must’ve been wondering what she’d done wrong as a parent because even now, reading my insane statement, I’m left wondering if maybe she’d been smoking dope while I was in the womb. 

That’s a joke, Mom.  Don’t call and yell at me. 

Needless to say, I was wild and I worried my family to death.  But being the wonderful people that they are, they never gave up hope on me.  They prayed that someday I would come to my senses and I did.  That is what family does.  They hold out hope even for the hopeless.  They never stop believing, trying or loving.  They are always there with open arms, ready and willing to welcome the wandering back home.

Every day I worry that my children, particularly my daughter, will be just like me.  Even worse, I fear that she will not want to be anything like me.  Regardless of how I score on this life-quiz called motherhood, I hope that I will always live honestly in the eyes of my children. I pray that someday, they will look back and remember a mom that loved them more than life itself… despite the fact that she had an ugly second head from time to time.

“Your daughter”.

Anytime my husband refers to one of our children in this way, I can be assured that the next thought won’t be palatable.

“She left me a note by the computer.  Apparently she has an essay due TODAY and the printer is out of ink.  Damn, does she realize that I now have to go to Wal-Mart at 5:00 a.m!?!”  At this point I drag out of bed and attempt to read the hastily scribbled note by the keyboard thru half-closed eyes.  In a flash I’m in the shower and my wonderful husband/father to my babies is out the door.  He was probably gone about 10 minutes when I realized that our toilet was running….and running.  Well, he was at Wal-Mart….I called him.

“Honey, the toilet is running.  You may want to get one of those ball and flapper thingys while you are at Wally World.”  I can’t really type what he said next, so use your imagination here:  “#%$#&(#%#*&($^@*$$!”.  “Well, YOU flushed it last, so don’t blame me! Here, I’ll send you a picture.  Love you!”  I sent him a picture, cause I didn’t know what the hell I was looking at.  Don’t judge.

Ok, so in the meantime, my seven year old is planning on wearing her pajamas to school as it is Pajama Day.  I know this because on her agenda in her delightfully uneven handwriting is  PJ DAY.  “Baby, you are SURE that today is Pajama Day?  You know I don’t want you to be the only child in your pjs today”.  “Yes ma’am, cause they had to cancel it last Friday.”  (She always says ma’am when she wants something.)  Needless to say, when I put her on the bus, there were NO OTHER children in their pajamas.  Sigh.

I finally get dressed at this point, and apply my face for the day.  Hubby makes it home from the Wally World and when the door opens and shuts for the second time, I hear an exclamation from him.  “Your daughter!!”  “What now?”   “She got the bus driver to turn around and come back so she could get her Game Boy.  Apparently it’s Game Day as well as Pajama Day.”  Damn, that kid is good, I honestly don’t know where she gets it from.  Exhausted from dealing with the youngest, I wake the teenager up and inform her that her dad has gone to great lengths before dawn to ensure that her essay is turned in on time.  She mumbles her thanks and disappears into their bathroom.  Her grades are awesome, so I refrain from throwing something at the closed door.

Dressed, check, makeup on, check, hair fixed, check, our toilet is flushed…uh oh.

I’m no plumber.  I take the lid off the tank and dip my arm in the ice cold water to grab the orange flapper thingy.  Of course as I do this, my arm hits the hose that is obviously attached to something important and I am taking my second shower of the day, this time in toilet water.  Sweet.

When is going back to bed and starting over the obvious solution?  I asked this of my husband and he gave me an unsympathetic look.  Ok, so this is part of the joy of parenting, and all before 7:00 a.m.  It’s a job we’re actually happy to do, and the payoff is better than any tax exemption.  While those kids make me want to chew the tips of my fingers off at times, for the most part they are worth every aggravation.  God love ‘em.

At least it got better after I left the house. My husband fixed the toilet; the baby made it home with the Game Boy and informed us that some of the other kids had on their pjs too.  Big girl got her essay turned in on time and preserved her 4.0 average.  The day actually didn’t suck and I came home with a six-pack of Blue Moon beer.  Hubby gave me a look as I carried it in the house.  “Do we really need $8.00 beer?” he asked.  My reply?

$%@#^%*^%(&*%”>“$%@#^%*^%(&*%#!!!

I love my family.

Being a single parent isn’t easy.  Without a husband, it is my job to wear all of the hats of parenting – at once.  More than just working, cooking and cleaning it is my sole responsibility to teach, play, discipline, protect, nurture and guide my children.  Thankfully, I have a lot of supportive grandparents, aunts & uncles and friends that have helped me in the process of “winging it” and making this parenting thing happen.  I know I am fortunate to have them and take my hat off to all of the parents out there that truly go it alone.

The bright side of being a single mom is that I don’t have to share any of their attention. At four AM there is no other place that my son wants to be than right by my side.  My little girl curls up under my blanket to watch Olympic figure skating with just me.  They both decorate Valentine’s cards and sugar cookies for Mama.  I get all of the hugs, kisses and I love you’s in our house and that is just fine with me. 

We are a tight little unit, my tiny family of three.  Someday we will grow, but for now I am reminding myself how special my life really is.